There’s a document doing the rounds on the Internet now which gives directions to Amarillo – from London Heathrow airport, at least.

These songs were all recorded before the age of mass communication, I guess, but the telephone was in general use.

Why does sweet Marie not call Tony and give him directions to her town, instead of just waiting.

It reminds me of the song about the woman lost on her way to San Jose.

“Do you know the way to San Jose?” she sings, over and over. I don’t understand it, because she also says “I’ve got a lot of friends in San Jose” – OK then, why don’t you call one of them?

Or, buy a map. I recall (though I may be mistaken as I don’t have the lyrics in front of me) that she went to Los Angeles to seek stardom. LA can make you a star, but it can’t tell you the way back home, even though that’s where you came from in the first place…

All you need to do is turn round and retrace your steps.

But that wouldn’t make a song, I guess.

What about “Sesame Street”? Now, I can forgive little children for not knowing the way (though shouldn’t they be with a responsible adult?) – but I thought they met with the ‘friendly neighbours’ every day. You think they’d get used to the route after a week or so? Hey, don’t some of them live on Sesame Street?

Any other geographically-challenged songs? At least “24 Hours from Tulsa” didn’t mention getting lost – and that’s a long journey.