Oh the saga of Facilities continues.

On Friday I had a personal package delivered which apparently set off the scanning device as being something dangerous (how dangerous a 5-inch tall USB Christmas tree can be I am not sure). I was in a training course, but when I returned I wrote an apologetic email:

Apologies if my package today looked like a bomb – I haven’t opened it yet so not sure what would make it look like one, over any other electrical things I have had delivered here in the past. Sorry for any alarm. I will let you know if anything is due to be delivered in future.

I got a slightly snotty email from Mr Jobsworth Facilities (Deputy):

Andrew

according to the 3 different people who looked at your parcel through our mail scanner unit, it looked like some sort of device that had the potential to cause harm though not necessarily a bomb.

How often do you have packages delivered here?
I’m assuming that any packages you have delivered here are for work purposes? If they are not, can I ask you to have them delivered to your home address.

In future, please contact Facilities prior to anything turning up.

Your co-operation would be appreciated.

(I particularly like the How often do you… and the I’m assuming… lines.)

I probably shouldn’t have replied, but I get wound up by people who use this tone:

I occasionally have packages delivered here. I had one electrical item delivered here about 4 months ago, and I ordered a couple of books from Amazon a few months ago also. I apologise that I have wrongly assumed that the BHF is happy for people at work to have personal packages occasionally delivered to work premises because the need to be signed for or have someone present.

Please can you amend the House Rules to make this clear, as I do not recall reading anything to suggest that the occasional personal delivery is a problem.

I won’t have anything else delivered here in future (and there is nothing outstanding) – I will just have to take annual leave in order to allow deliveries to be made.

Regards

Andy Merrett

I thought this was fairly reasonable, given that many companies take deliveries for their employees when it’s difficult to receive them at home, and also given the other email that he sent out on Friday afternoon:

Good afternoon,

Some virtual greyhound racing, betting slips (Ladbrokes) have been delivered into the Foundation via a Royal Mail Special Delivery.

There is no contact name on the packaging, if these betting slips are yours, please contact me & I’ll hand them over.

If you do not want people to know that these betting slips are yours, I can be trusted to keep my trap shut! Apologies for that, it’s been a very long week.

Oh, so those are OK, are they, even though they are personal and also betting-related (which I thought was against Foundation policies…)

This morning I found this lovely reply – I will comment on it as it goes along:

why would we encourage staff to have items of a personal nature delivered to the office?
(I never said it was encouraged, I just didn’t see anywhere that is was discouraged. I am not expecting the Foundation to compel people to have personal packages delivered, just to accept without fuss the occasional one that can’t be delivered elsewhere)

The people charged with having to open post & scan packages each morning are busy enough as it is.
(One package, one package – there’s enough crap that arrives that is nothing to do with me)

Occasionally, staff do have credit cards etc, delivered to Head Office which we are happy to sign for providing they tell us in advance.
(Again, this isn’t mentioned in any House Rules, Facilities guides, or anything – that’s all I asked for – not a lecture!)

A couple of years back, like you (Oh, like me, was she? Except female? Or are you just rubbing in the fact that I broke your jobsworth rules?), a former (Hmmm, sorry, is that a threat? Or a hope?) member of staff neglected to tell us that she was expecting a parcel to be delivered into the Foundation. The parcel contained a carriage clock & when scanned this also looked like a device (What are these devices exactly?). In the interest of safety we were forced to evacuate the building & call the bomb squad. In total the building had to be evacuated for 2 hours.

Additionally, the bomb squad were not best pleased that their valuable time & resources had been wasted. (By Facilities)
Perhaps you can now see why we might not encourage staff to have personal packages delivered here.
(I didn’t ASK for you to ENCOURAGE people to send their personal packages here!!! And in any case, why would only personal packages be a potential threat – do work-related things never scan like ‘devices’)

I also have parcels delivered to my home when I’m not there. I find that if they cannot deliver they nearly always leave a card explaining how It can be collected or redelivered.
(Yeah, actually the web site stipulates that someone must be available to sign for the package – I tend to go by what the delivery company says, not Mr Jobsworth’s experiences. Nearly always does not equal always)

Rather than take a days holiday, I arrange to pick it up at a weekend or have it delivered to a neighbour or relation, making sure that they know to expect it of course.
(Keep on rubbing it in won’t you? I don’t have any relations nearby, and all my neighbours work.)

I hope this explains why the Foundation is reluctant to encourage staff to have packages of a personal nature delivered here.(Not really, it just makes you look a total Jobsworth.)

I’ve witheld the Jobsworth’s name for my own sanity, rather than because of the risk of getting into trouble.

Update:

The Jobsworth just has to reiterate things ad nauseum. Today at work there’s a special raffle which is not worth detailing, but it involved sending £1 to someone. After the initial email, the recipient sent this succinct email:

Postroom Man has asked that nobody sends this money through the internal post.

Thanks

Recipient

That’s fine. Jobsworth then sends this email:

Following on from originator‘s earlier e-mail where he asked for all money to be given to recipient.

Can I ask anyone purchasing raffle tickets to personally deliver the money to recipient.
Already, some people have been leaving cash in envelopes in internal post trays around the building.
While Postroom Man would normally be happy to assist in helping toward such a worthy cause, it is always strongly advisable not to send cash through the post, be it internal or external.

Thank you for your co-operation.

Oh please – did we need the verbosity? Recipient‘s email was far better.